Saturday, September 4, 2010

I Ain't Afraid of No Locks + No Booze For You!

Sooooo not the keymaster.

As Americans, I have to say we excel at certain things. Take door locks, for instance. We’ve worked hard for our worldly possessions, and we're paranoid about other people taking them. Thus, our door locks are (generally speaking) secure and easy to use: insert key, turn, lock; insert key, turn, unlock. Easy, right?

My constant struggle since I have arrived in Helsinki? You guessed it, the lock on my apartment door. It seemed so effortless for Leena, my GROW host, to get into the apartment when we arrived, but for me it's pretty much impossible. Trying to get in: insert key, turn, nothing. Push on door while turning key, nothing. Use other key. (I have two, one is red, one is yellow. I’m pretty sure they’re exactly the same but it makes me feel less incompetent to switch them around.) Nope. Revert back to first key, push on door – really, really hard – while turning, balance on one leg while screaming, “I am the keymaster!” Success! … That is, until the door won’t close and we start all over again, this time with the neighbors watching me like I am a crazy person. This has already been fun after a night of drinking, and I am definitely looking forward to the keymaster game on my way to work!

Silly Americans, don't know how to unlock doors and stuff.

Another thing Americans do well is sell booze. Hard-working citizens run liquor stores, open seven days a week, that even have extended hours on the weekends! Plus convenient stores sell beer and wine until the wee hours of the morning, all so we can knock a few back after a hard work week. But since I’ve witnessed how fall-down-drunk the Finns can get on a Friday night, I guess it makes sense they need some boundaries; one of those being only one kind of store, appropriately named Alko, sells wine and liquor.

The sticker shock of bar drink prices – a minimum of 7 euros or $10 USD for a vodka and soda (and no heavy pours, mind you. Each shot is neatly measured out) – had me searching for my nearest Alko, located conveniently on the next block. But every time I've tried to go, they have been closed. Yesterday, after a full day of sightseeing, I wanted to grab a bottle of wine and got to the store around 8:15 PM. They closed at 8. On a Friday. Today I decided to stop in after walking around the city, thinking a bottle of Finlandia would be nice, and arrived around 6:05. They closed at 6. On a Saturday??? Seriously????

And Sundays? Closed. Of course.


Ok, how about during the week? Surely I can stop in for a bottle of wine on my way home from work? Closed at 6 PM. Hmmm... Leaving the office at 5ish plus a 40-minute commute is cutting it pretty close. How is a girl supposed to get some affordable alcohol around here?

Le sigh. I guess I'll have to settle for grocery store beer.


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