Big Brother is quite possibly America’s most boring and pointless reality show, and I’ll never understand why people watch it. (For the record, I used to love The Real World.) The Finnish version, on the other hand, shows boobs! Full nudity, to be exact. And we’ve been watching the girls taking showers and rinsing each other off for the last half hour here in the office. (Happy Friday!)
MTV3 produces the show and I’m pretty sure a lot of the people I work with are somehow responsible for it, probably by reporting what happens online. (Still trying to get a handle on what everyone does, obvs.) The show is aired 24 hours a day (bo-ring!) so even at 3 AM you can numb your brain watching self-centered 20-something Finns discuss mundane topics. (Or maybe you can watch them sleep. Or screw. I have no idea.)* Not speaking Finnish, I never know what’s happening in the house, but it looks pretty lame. Although, if there’s one thing that can break a language barrier, it’s full-frontal nudity.
Time spent getting naked = 0.5 hours.
Time spent laying around, drinking and having deep, woe-is-me discussions = 23.5 hours.
Here’s how it all went down: the guy sitting across from me gets a phone call and jumps up to to change the TV station from music videos to the Big Brother channel. (BTW, we watch music videos all the time, here. Artists in heavy rotation include Adam Lambert, Backstreet Boys and Lady Gaga.) Cut to: girls in the bathroom wearing bikinis and contemplating showering (I think. I’m drawing my own conclusions). Most are thin and cute but there is one older, larger lady who -- of course -- is the first one to strip totally naked and start scrubbing herself down. Eww. Another girl follows suit also and lathers herself up. (The guy in my office is practically drooling on the phone, seemingly happy by this. Again, eww.) All kinds of private, showering moments are happening -- like shaving vajayjays, which I don’t find particularly hot -- and are now fully broadcast for the world (well, all of Finland anyway) to see.
The most disturbing part of all this is not the nudity, or the fact that I am an uptight American who isn't comfortable watching naked chicks showering ... with my co-workers ... while we’re AT WORK! ... or even the Finnish comments being made by the guy sitting across from me that I don’t technically understand, but understand all too well. No, none of that is as bad as the full back tattoo on one of the naked girls. A full back tattoo of... Michael Jackson. (!!!!!)
Now, I love MJ more than most people and I am all for, um, how you say? ... yes, tasteful tattoos honoring musicians (except the Dave Matthews Band), but I can’t imagine living with this atrocity on my body. It’s b&w and memorial-style, with two images of post-plastic surgery Michael; above him are clouds and sun rays... or something? Heaven shining down on him, I guess. Bottom line: it’s really, really bad. Like, distracting from full nudity bad. And if you’re going to get an MJ tattoo, why would you pick the creepy, nose-falling-off, possible child molestation days to immortalize on your body? Hmmm... Thriller MJ or Invincible MJ? Tough decision.
This is the only photo I can find, which doesn’t do this monstrosity justice:
The "heaven" part of the tattoo -- the opposite of heavenly.
Update: Ok, I found a more revealing photo, if you will. You still can’t see MJ’s face, but you get the point:
Nope, not awkward at all.
(More NSFW photos here. Even some of the ladies shaving... their legs. And PS to all the chicas out there, wouldn't this be a sitch where you would skip the shaving? Forreal.)
Another update: bad tattoos seem to be a theme in this house. Check out this douche:
Look out, Jersey Shore! Niko is the new situation!
Even more updates: shaving is also a theme. Must be a (bored) European thing?
Ummm.... ??? Where do I begin?
Ok, researching these photos has just led me to a slew of others. I probably should quit while I'm ahead.
*Holy crap!!! I just realized it costs almost 40 euros to subscribe to the Big Brother channel!!!!! WTF is wrong with people?!?!? To be fair, at least it's more interesting than psycho pastors burning religious books. Oh, Florida. All I do is defend you and you keep letting me down. Not cool.
Yep. Still speechless. The circus comes to mind, though.
Gay or European? Truth or dare? Just bored? The jury is still out.
*Holy crap!!! I just realized it costs almost 40 euros to subscribe to the Big Brother channel!!!!! WTF is wrong with people?!?!? To be fair, at least it's more interesting than psycho pastors burning religious books. Oh, Florida. All I do is defend you and you keep letting me down. Not cool.
I admit that being faced with open nudity (and even language on FM radio) is a little jarring the first time. I was also self-conscious the first time I had to strip for the sauna, but you get used to it.
ReplyDeleteAlso funny - I used to think that MTV3 was really a Finnish version of MTV. I didn't even know that Bonnier owned it until now!