Finland Hearts Conan

I’ve recently discovered Finland’s love affair with one of my favorite Americans -- Conan O’Brien. Being the amazing late-night talk show God he is, he created a bit called “Conan O’Brien Hates My Homeland,” where he insulted every country in the world just to find out where his show was being aired. To his surprise, he got an overwhelming response when he insulted Finland; not surprisingly, and true to Finnish style, they mostly agreed with him! (My favorite response: “Conan, I hate my homeland too. Keep up the good work. Finland sucks.”)

I’m think I saw this on TV when it originally aired and found it amusing; seeing it in Finland and understanding the culture makes it a million times funnier.




In another video, he endorses Finland’s president, Tarja Halonen, during campaign time, because she looks like him! (OMG, she totally does!) Too funny.





I wonder how horrible Conan's Finnish-speaking skills are. I’ve noticed he mispronounces Tarja (we Americans have a hard time with the letter ‘J’ -- it's pronounced more like an English 'Y') so I can only imagine he must be butchering the language. I still think it’s awesome he did these commercials, though, and that he visited Finland to meet the president.

Good to see Suomi is on team Coco. To me, it proves what I already knew to be true: Finns are way smarter than Americans. Especially the Americans who seem to like Jay Leno’s bland, mediocre attempt at humor.

I wonder if they like Will Arnett.

Hullut Päivät, Circus Pigs, Black Superman and WTF???

Have you ever have a day so full of WTF?!?! that you were expecting a TV crew to pop out from behind a tree at any second screaming "Smile, you're on America's Most Candid Punk'd Videos!" Well that was my day on Saturday -- hopefully the photos will do it justice.

It all started innocently enough. The plan was to hit up Stockmann, Helsinki's major department store, for Hullut Päivät, aka Crazy Days. It was exactly as promised -- insane. The entire population of Helsinki jam-packs into the 10-story (or so) block-long brick building, shopping 'til they drop for not-as-ridiculously-overpriced-as-usual, but-still-waaaaaaay-too-expensive products. Imagine Black Friday in America lasting a full week at Saks Fifth Avenue in NYC.

Anyway, they had a mascot!!! Fun!!!

Next on the agenda was to visit Suomenlinna, a historic island fortress off Finland's coast, known for its World Heritage status. But the island has been on the agenda for the last four weeks now, and something always keeps us from actually getting there. This time, we had time restraints and weather issues working against us, but I *will* visit that island this month. Oh yes. I will.

In lieu of sightseeing, we hit Cafe Esplanad, my favorite, albeit touristy, coffee place because a) they have pastries the size of my head (mmmmm) and b) it's the only place I've found that will make me a latte with hazelnut flavoring. (I miss you and your sweet coffee, America.) We grabbed a table outside, which is right when the hidden camera show struck again.

They know where you live.

Hamming it up for the camera. Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Why is this kind of thing always more surreal when you're traveling??? Apparently, this was some sort of circus group promoting their upcoming show. It was more terrifying-eat-your-children vibe than charming circus performers, but hey, maybe that's just my downer American take on things.

So after that cavalcade of characters, we decided to walk around a bit, hoping all the madness had passed. It hadn't.


Cue this tightrope-walking Superman dude who just hangs out and randomly does... this... and expects money for it. He's pretty synonymous with the city center, so I guess it made sense we saw him next.

People call him the Superman Lover.

And then another slice of crazy appeared, this time with a puppet scarier than Chucky:

By now, we were really close to Aussie Bar (shocking), where I had left my camera case a few nights prior. We figured we'd just check to see if they had it (omg - they did!!!) and have a beer. This is when we met these crazy Jackass-style gents, who immediately began their Johnny Knoxville-esque stunts like hanging from chandeliers and slip-and-sliding across the bar, stomach first. (Ummm... Ashton.... have we been Punk'd yet???)

And since I have adopted a Yes Man-type attitude in Helsinki, when they invited us to a house party that evening, I had to accept. On the way, they wanted to stop at a secondhand store called Uff . (Sidenote: This place is the Dechoes of Helsinki and there are five locations!!! I am in looooove.) They played a game where they each had three minutes to find a new outfit, max price of 17 euros. (This is where I politely declined. Only three minutes to shop? You've got to be joking.) They came out with shiny new outfits and we proceeded to the party.

This is where the photos will have to take over. (Also, I am horrible with names in America. In Finland, I am freakin' clueless.)

Green was his color (that's a lovely new dress, btw):


This dude's catch phrase: "I'm a kitty cat." (Family Guy reference.)

This is Anders. I remember his name because of his uncreative parents (bonus points if you can guess his last name!):

?????



??????



They kept telling me how they weren't gay, but kind of wished they were. I took that as my cue to leave. :)


But, yeah, just another boring Saturday in Helsinki. What did you guys do???

Wheeeee, it's Afternoon Web Usability Testing!

As you can tell by the riveting title, this post is going to be chock-full of int3rn3tz g33kd0m. If you’re not a super d0rk like me, you might want to bail now.

For any of you still reading, as we came downstairs after lunch today, we noticed a table full of candy bars. Mmmmm.... chocolate. We asked the people at the table if we could have one. They said (in Finnish): “Sure! All you have to do is a take a little test!” Wheeeee!



After a minute, I realized the so-called test was actually a web usability experiment for a new travel site that MTV3 is developing! They had each person sit down and gave them a simple task, something like “Find a vacation to Playa del Carmen for under 500€.” They taped the user with a webcam, as well as recorded their screen interaction (where they clicked, how their mouse moved, etc.) so they could pinpoint exactly when a user got confused. I thought it was the coolest thing ever!



And they lured us in with chocolate! Brilliant! Can we do this for our websites back at Bonnier Corp???



PS... the guy leading the test? Dreamy McDreamington. Le sigh.





Sorry if you thought this post was boring. Here, read about naked people on Big Brother.

Month-end Highlights, Accomplishments and Random Tidbits

Well, it’s been a whole month here in Helsinki. What’s going on with me? Thought you’d never ask!


I finally learned how to pronounce my street name - Jääkärinkatu! Yay! Not an easy Finnish word to start off with, but now I’ve got it down. (Pronounced Yah-kah-reen-kah-too. But quickly. And with a Finnish accent.) Up until now, when someone asked me where I live, I was advised to say Jäger Street and people would get the point. (It was true, they all figured it out.) On a semi-related note, I’ve probably drank more Jäger in Finland than the past five years combined. I guess I live on the right street.

I've found my favorite Finnish phrase. Ok, so it's less like a phrase and more like a few Finnish words put together: “kaksi yksi yksi.” It sounds like “coxie, ooksie, ooksie” and I am in lalalaloooooove. I heard this on a commercial and was dying to know what it meant. Turns out, it’s not so exciting: “two, one, one.” (It was the announcer saying a phone number.)

Yay for laundry! Stoked to have a washing machine in my apartment, but seriously miss having access to a dryer. Especially for my jeans.

Got myself connected... sort of. I was cell phone-less for awhile, and relying on Facebook to try to make plans with people, which didn't work out so well. The upside: not having a phone number when random dudes ask for it at bars, on trains or while randomly crossing the street (true story). But no more - now I have a Zach Morris-style cell phone from the ‘90’s. Ok, maybe it’s a tad more updated (circa 2005ish), but it can send faxes! Ha! (And I still don't know my phone number, so I have a good excuse if I need it.)





I've officially realized I “live” here, rather than just taking a vacay. The realization kicks in a bit more every time I have to take out the garbage (which was a surprisingly difficult task to figure out, btw), wash my dishes and clean the bathroom.

I have turned into an eavesdropper! Any time I hear anyone speaking English, my ears perk up and I am immediately immersed in their convo and trying to place their accent. It’s a fun game.

Finnish does not equal Espanol. Speaking of languages, Spanish is the only one I even remotely understand (un poquito), so my brain will start tricking itself into thinking I’m hearing words I understand in Finnish. A good example was when I overheard a co-worker mention vessaan, which in the context of the sentence sounded like cerveza. “Oh, are you guys going for beers?” asked the silly America. “No, she’s going to the bathroom.” D’oh.

Dread mustaches are fun.

Finns don’t say anything if you sneeze. Since our office is 100% communal (and you Bonnier Corp. kids thought you had no privacy in your cubes!) it always weirds me out when someone sneezes and no one says anything. Not “Bless You,” not “Jesus,” not “You are soooooo good lookin’ “ -- nothing. For a country that isn’t overly religious, it makes sense, but I guess I thought they would at least say “kaksi yksi yksi” or something.

The artist formerly known as dissing Finland has done it again. The Prince concert was “postponed” aka cancelled. Boooo!!! Apparently he does this to the Finns every time. I’m starting to understand why they feel like the red-headed stepchildren of Scandinavia.

I haven't traveled yet but... Ticket to Stockholm is officially booked, and St. Petersburg is in the works! Boo-yah!

Sorry I haven’t been writing -- that crazy thing called life gets in the way. I have a bunch of drafts started, though, so stay tuned! Miss you all!!!

A Typical Day at the Office

Once my morning commute has concluded, I enter the MTV3 offices to begin my workday. I am first greeted by this cutie-pie retro owl in the stairwell:

MTV3's owl logo has changed many times throughout the years, and the different versions are painted all over the building. This one is my favorite -- how shocking that it's the one from the 70's.

I pass another dope logo mural after the stairwell on the way to my desk:

Then I enter the main area for the web content team. It has been accurately compared to the Studio Line from Loreal design:

My desk is in an adjoining room off to the side:

At 11:00 sharp (sooooo early!!!), we all go for lunch in the company's cafeteria. We line up like good little girls and boys to get our meals:

There is a buffet-style line with about four different food choices: a type of meat dish -- usually chicken, lamb, meatballs, etc. -- a fish entree, a vegetarian option and a salad of the day. These usually have to be translated for me, which makes me feel even more like a five year-old.

And, in case you're wondering why I've gained about 10 - 20 pounds the next time you see me, one of the reasons is this bread/dessert station. So not necessary, but soooooo hard to resist:

Then we all sit together and eat as quickly as possible because...

... afterwards we grab coffee and gather around the common area to watch (and make fun of) music videos for the rest of our lunch break!

As promised, here are all my super-cute co-workers. Some of them weren't too keen on having their photo taken but oh well. They'll get over it :)

Look, I'm actually drinking hot coffee! Not my first choice, but I'll take what I can get. I think I've only had iced coffee twice since I've been here.

Oh, and we do actual work as well, but I'll cover that in an upcoming post. Just wanted to show you where I spend my days.

My Baby Takes the Mornin' Train

My usual "commute" in Orlando consists of jumping in my Ford Focus, driving 15 minutes or less (usually about two or three songs, max), parking and walking about a minute to the office. It's a tad different here in Helsinki, so I wanted to show you my journey to work each morning through photos. (Warning: I am far from a photojournalist.)

Before you're quick to point out the lack of continuity in these photos, please note they were taken on different days. Some days were breathtakingly beautiful, others were Dreary McDrearyington -- just think of it as a glimpse into capricious Helsinki weather, which I'm starting to realize I will never figure out.

First, I catch the #10 tram about a block from my house. I pass at least three coffee/pastry cafes on the way, and have to contain the urge to drop $8 - 10 on unhealthy goodness. (This cannot be controlled in hangover situations.)

I sit behind this guy. (Well sometimes. Okay, maybe just the once.) We do the traditional Finnish "I-won't-look-at-you-no-matter-what. No-seriously-there's-no-way-I'm-making-eye-contact-or-politely-smiling-whatsoever" greeting before taking our seats.

About 10 minutes later, I am dropped off here ...

... which is by Helsinki Central Station.

I catch the M train, which is usually *just* pulling away as I run up to it.

Right about here, while I impatiently sit on the train drumming my fingers and wish we would just leave already, I start to contemplate the fact that, at home, I would definitely already be at work by now. But no... I'm just sitting... waiting... totally helpless and being an antsy, control-freakish type American who is used to having a car. Then I make myself chill, turn up my music, read my book and am thankful that I don't have to deal with driving and traffic.

Once the train (finally!!!) leaves, it's not long before I get off at the second (semi-pronounceable) stop: Ilmala, where the MTV3 headquarters is located. I get my morning workout on the stairs:

And pretty much every day, while hiking up this hill, I have one of those "Holy $h!t, I can't believe I live in Finland" moments. I think you can see why (cue Stevie Wonder singing about God or something equally inspiring):

Then I take a self-portrait:
And get ready for the most challenging part of my commute: this stupid footpath I have to conquer every morning and afternoon. (Sure, I could walk around but that would take, like, an extra two minutes or something. Also, pretty much every MTV3 employee uses this, from the humble janitor to the mighty CEO, and peer pressure can be very powerful.)

The path is very steep and narrow, and this is the point when I'm glad I'm not wearing boots with heels. There are also fun obstacles to jump over, like rocks and pipes and branches! Oh my!

I know it doesn't look so bad in these photos, but if you know me at all, you understand that my clumsy self shouldn't be up this high and balancing, with no trace of a safety barricade to keep me from plummeting to my death. Ok, so maybe I wouldn't die if I fell, but casts and/or stitches would definitely be in effect, and I have enough scars, thank-you-very-much. (Good thing Finland has national healthcare, though, I guess?)

To give a better sense of steepness, my co-workers demonstrate the afternoon part of the trek. This is the part that scares me the most, especially when it's rainy and muddy. Their favorite thing to say to fuel my 'fraidy-cat fire: "Oh, this is nothing! Just wait until it's snowing and icy!" Yep... can't wait.

After I've survived the shortcut, I pass a water-treatment facility, which has this random statue/water contraption out front:

I climb down one last flight of stairs to reach my final destination: MTV3.

This all takes about 45 minutes to 1.5 hours depending on how long I have to wait on trams and trains. Definitely not something I'm used to, but also an exciting experience.

Photos of the inner-workings of MTV3's web content team coming soon, including my ridiculously good-looking co-workers (no, really, they're all super cute!), our "Studio Line from Loreal" styled office, the owl-adorned stairwells and much more.

Stay tuned!