Two Months Down, One to Go

Well, we’re officially past the two month mark here in Helsinki. (The royal ‘we’ that is.) Actually, I realized today that in exactly one month, I will be sitting back at my Bonnier Corp desk in sunny Florida again. Before that, I will be completely stressed slash stoked about trying to travel after this whole Grow sitch, considering the Helsinki money gods have sucked me dry. (That’s what she said?)

But enough of the panic room, here’s some more random tidbits to keep you interested in my bloggy blog world.

I suck at getting dressed. Layering, tying scarves, wearing proper shoes -- I’m terrible at all of it. I’m convinced I can control the weather solely upon my outfit choice of the day. For example, if I wear my Converse sneakers and light jacket, I’m asking for a blizzard to hit, whereas if I bundle up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, I will bring about a heatwave. (Temps in the 40’s constitutes a heatwave, btw.) If I’m wearing semi-warm but extra-absorbent boots (they were cheap for a reason!), they’ll have to face massive rain puddles, while the faux-fur lined proper snow boots see only the sunshiny-ist of days. It’s very frustrating.

Speaking of absorbent boots, Reagan came to visit! And she has the same shoe issue. Luckily, I have a hair dryer:



I miss speaking American. With Reagan's recent visit, and a Sunday encounter with two American girls traveling through Helsinki, I've been able to speak good 'ol improper American English. It's been wonderful! And while most Finns understand and speak perfect English (and God bless them for doing so!!!), there’s something so awesome about being able to say “like” every five seconds without second-guessing it. (I wish I didn’t, like, talk like a valley girl, but like, I just, like, can’t help it and stuff. Like, you know?”)

Man, oh, man. Helsinki’s got the funk. As you may have read in my captivating Bonnier Grow interview, my favorite kind of funk music is *everywhere* in this town -- bars, cafes, night clubs, restaurants. It’s like my own personal wonderland of music. This is probably only noticeable to someone like me, who would recognize when Evelyn Champagne King’s “I’m in Love” starts playing at a random pub. Most of the DJs I have met play strictly vinyl (yay!) and there are eight record stores at the end of my street. EIGHT. One block away. Le sigh. The best parties so far have been Solid Gold’s funk night at YK and Keep It Up every First Friday at We Got Beef. God, I wish I could DJ here.

Hair mustaches = still fun.


I’m dreaming of a non-white November. In October, it officially snowed three times but not enough to stick. I’m not too keen on the idea of snow (see the part where I suck at getting dressed) but the Finns always look sad that I won’t get to see “proper snow.” To me, no snow = better than lots of snow.

I finally made it to Suomenlinna! We lucked out with gorgeous weather, too! Pictures coming soon!


I am homesick. Yep, that’s right. Even though I’m taking full advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I miss home. Besides obviously missing family and friends, it’s the little things I am longing for: flavored iced coffee; showers with bathtubs; American keyboards: öåä; driving my car when the sun is setting; editing the DWH site; Fahrenheit, pounds, feet, miles; Mexican food; speaking English without worrying if I’ll be understood; prices in dollars instead of Euros (eff the exchange rates and bank fees!!!); my orange and yellow living room and record collection; biking around the lakes in my neighborhood... these are a few of my favorite things. I look forward to reuniting with them in December.

More frequent posts coming soon. I have so many ideas and photos to post before I get home. Next on the agenda: Alyx and Bill are coming this week to visit -- yay! Stay tuned...

A Helsinki Halloween!

I guess you could say I was a little bummed about missing Halloween in the U.S. (Okay, really bummed.) I looooove dressing up and going out with other crazies in costumes -- it's like a surreal, alcohol-fueled fantasy land. But in Helsinki, they don't really celebrate it. Since there was no way I was giving up one of my favorite holidays, I had my own little party!

A few novelty stores had Halloween costumes, so I bought one. Some people might think it was a Cleopatra costume. Not so! I decided I was actually a band member of Earth, Wind and Fire!

And my awesome friends, being awesome and all, got into the spirit with me. Leena was "Death" and Silja was Alex from Clockwork Orange.

We decided Leena should be Adam Lambert instead.

Petra, wearing black angel wings then became the Angel of Death:

Ida showed up as a last-minute surprise, dressed as her amazing self!

And it wouldn't be a party in Finland without playing SingStar, a game I had never heard of until living here. It's a fun karaoke-style game that's mega popular in Europe. (Anybody in The States heard of it? I don't have any kind of gaming console so I am clueless about these things.)

I love it because most of the songs are super random to me -- singles from unfamiliar European bands and obscure American hits. The first time I played, I was in awe that everyone knew the words to "Club Tropicana" by Wham!. (I might be one of the few Americans who even knows that song exists.) But I love it because I've sang "Hold the Line" by Toto and "Don't Walk Away" by Jade. Both are extremely hard, btw. Oh, and I know all the words to "Baby Got Back" -- shocking, I know.

I love how much Silja gets into it. She's a total rockstar:

My spooky "decorations" aka tea-lights and orange cups.

Afterwards, we all went out in costume. We were pretty much the only people dressed up but we still had a blast. I'm so happy that these awesome ladies celebrated with me! Happy Halloween!!! :)

Dancing with Finnish Stars

Working for MTV3 certainly has its perks. Last night, I was among the elite and privileged few invited to attend a live broadcast of one of their most popular shows: Tanssii Tähtien Kanssa -- better known in America as Dancing with the Stars. It was a cold and rainy Sunday evening (quite a contrast to the previous day’s gorgeous weather) and, of course, I forgot my umbrella at home. Even if I had been “dressed to impress” as the invitation stated, by the time we walked the few blocks from the metro station to the set, I looked more like a drown rat.

We arrived about 30 minutes early and couldn’t figure out where the entrance was. This guy was outside smoking a cigarette:


He was very nice and helpful as he directed us toward the front door. I mistook him for a stagehand but as it turns out, he was Jone Nikula, a quite famous judge on the show. (Sort of like the Simon Cowell of Finland.) Oops.

We settled into the press area on the side of the stage with a great view of all the action, and I mentally prepared myself for an hour-long TV show entirely in Finnish. At least dancing is a universal language. We seriously lucked out with the week’s theme, which could have easily been the waltz or ballroom style. Instead it was salsa, something I was particularly excited to see Finnish stars attempt. Turns out, they did pretty well! The highlights:

Antti Tuisku, a total cutie who became famous on Idols (Finland’s version of American Idol), was the standout dancer and crowd favorite. And even though he nailed his salsa routine and was the top-scoring participant, he swears he’s not gay. Riiiiiiight. Neither was Adam Lambert.


The lowest-scoring contestant last week, Jethro Rostedt, was another crowd-pleaser, proving that even if you can’t get the moves just right, personality goes a long way. I could have sworn the judge slash stagehand quoted LL Cool J when he said “Don’t call it a comeback,” in English. (Newsflash: he didn’t. While he did use the word ‘comeback,’ the rest of the sentence was in Finnish. I tend to draw my own conclusions, though. It makes language barriers a lot more fun.)


The most painful routine was to the un-salsa-like song “I’ve Had the Time of My Life.” Ummm... huh? Yes, it was in Dirty Dancing and yes, I think there was a salsa routine in the beginning of the movie. But still, worst song choice ever? Probably why that particular couple was eliminated.

But I had so much fun watching the show live! Considering I live nowhere near Hollywood, I doubt I would ever have had this opportunity in The States. Even if I did, this season in America has the weirdest stars ever. Why would I want to see “stars” like spawn of Satan, Bristol Palin, or the Situation dude from Jersey Shore dance? (Michael Bolton, actual Dirty Dancer Jennifer Grey and David Hasselhoff -- that’s another story. I would totally want to see them live.)

Leena and me before the show

PS... My co-workers are giving me crap me because I thought the host, Mikko Leppilampi, was hot. Apparently he doesn’t have the best rep in Finland, but based on looks alone, he’s a stereotypical handsome man. (Plus, being European only makes him more attractive.)

American ladies, please weigh in. What do you think? Yay or nay?

Friday Lolz!

My Finnish friend, Leena, posted this on my FB wall and I thought it was pretty funny. The World According to San Francisco.

I love being an American. :)

Click to embiggen! (Tee hee, awesome Simpsons reference, btw!) Thanks to Graphjam for all of this.

Month-end Highlights, Accomplishments and Random Tidbits

Well, it’s been a whole month here in Helsinki. What’s going on with me? Thought you’d never ask!


I finally learned how to pronounce my street name - Jääkärinkatu! Yay! Not an easy Finnish word to start off with, but now I’ve got it down. (Pronounced Yah-kah-reen-kah-too. But quickly. And with a Finnish accent.) Up until now, when someone asked me where I live, I was advised to say Jäger Street and people would get the point. (It was true, they all figured it out.) On a semi-related note, I’ve probably drank more Jäger in Finland than the past five years combined. I guess I live on the right street.

I've found my favorite Finnish phrase. Ok, so it's less like a phrase and more like a few Finnish words put together: “kaksi yksi yksi.” It sounds like “coxie, ooksie, ooksie” and I am in lalalaloooooove. I heard this on a commercial and was dying to know what it meant. Turns out, it’s not so exciting: “two, one, one.” (It was the announcer saying a phone number.)

Yay for laundry! Stoked to have a washing machine in my apartment, but seriously miss having access to a dryer. Especially for my jeans.

Got myself connected... sort of. I was cell phone-less for awhile, and relying on Facebook to try to make plans with people, which didn't work out so well. The upside: not having a phone number when random dudes ask for it at bars, on trains or while randomly crossing the street (true story). But no more - now I have a Zach Morris-style cell phone from the ‘90’s. Ok, maybe it’s a tad more updated (circa 2005ish), but it can send faxes! Ha! (And I still don't know my phone number, so I have a good excuse if I need it.)





I've officially realized I “live” here, rather than just taking a vacay. The realization kicks in a bit more every time I have to take out the garbage (which was a surprisingly difficult task to figure out, btw), wash my dishes and clean the bathroom.

I have turned into an eavesdropper! Any time I hear anyone speaking English, my ears perk up and I am immediately immersed in their convo and trying to place their accent. It’s a fun game.

Finnish does not equal Espanol. Speaking of languages, Spanish is the only one I even remotely understand (un poquito), so my brain will start tricking itself into thinking I’m hearing words I understand in Finnish. A good example was when I overheard a co-worker mention vessaan, which in the context of the sentence sounded like cerveza. “Oh, are you guys going for beers?” asked the silly America. “No, she’s going to the bathroom.” D’oh.

Dread mustaches are fun.

Finns don’t say anything if you sneeze. Since our office is 100% communal (and you Bonnier Corp. kids thought you had no privacy in your cubes!) it always weirds me out when someone sneezes and no one says anything. Not “Bless You,” not “Jesus,” not “You are soooooo good lookin’ “ -- nothing. For a country that isn’t overly religious, it makes sense, but I guess I thought they would at least say “kaksi yksi yksi” or something.

The artist formerly known as dissing Finland has done it again. The Prince concert was “postponed” aka cancelled. Boooo!!! Apparently he does this to the Finns every time. I’m starting to understand why they feel like the red-headed stepchildren of Scandinavia.

I haven't traveled yet but... Ticket to Stockholm is officially booked, and St. Petersburg is in the works! Boo-yah!

Sorry I haven’t been writing -- that crazy thing called life gets in the way. I have a bunch of drafts started, though, so stay tuned! Miss you all!!!

Confessions...

So I probably have a million ideas waiting to be shaped into snarky blogs, along with a plethora of touristy photos to post. It's all coming, I promise. (Twss.)

And if you're wondering what's been keeping me from doing so... let's just blame a vampire named Eric for taking up all of my free time lately.


Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a third season to devour.

I'm Not a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here

Oh, celebs. Who doesn’t love immersing themselves in shallow, self-centered Hollywood folk? This girl. But in the last two weeks, I have been forced to become a celebrity whore.

Helmi, the website for which I am now a web editor, mostly reports on celebs and how they relate to specific areas of the site (beauty, fashion, weddings, etc.). That means it’s now my job to know everything they do. I definitely wish I had paid more attention the US Weeklys that used to collect dust on my desk. No worries: the mag has an RSS feed -- as does Radar, TMZ, People, et al -- that I check about 20 times a day.

I am now abreast of every minuscule detail happening in famous-people world! Heidi and Spencer: will they divorce or won’t they? Will they actually make the big move to Costa Rica? It’s a good thing Spencer apologized on his Twitter account before he was arrested with a firearm. Oh, and that judge that called Snooki worse than Lindsay Lohan? That was a low blow, but she totes deserves it. (Loving her new look, btw. Bangs are such an improvement over the poof.) Britney’s bodyguard was pretty outta line with all his accusations of sexual harassment -- I’m so glad K-Fed stood up for her. I wonder if Bristol Palin will keep her promise about not wearing a revealing outfit on Dancing with the Stars. Do you think Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” will be any good or will he have two left feet? OMG - did you see the VMAs??? Kanye West and Taylor Swift certainly had some words for each other, eh? Did you see that Katy Perry had her beau, Russell Brand, on her fingernails? Talk about a man-icure. Lady Gaga totally wowed in her Alexander McQueen, didn’t she? Can. you. believe she draped herself in dead, rotting flesh, though? What a statement. She is sooooo fashionable. And asking Cher to hold her meat purse? Classic! (PS... check out my picks for best and worst dressed! No, seriously I made it. And it was kind of fun.)



So, as you can see, working here has forced me out of my comfort zone -- something the GROW program is all about. Bring it on, LiLo.

Do You Like American Music?

There are two questions I get asked a lot. The first: “Um, why did you come to Finland of all places?” Almost every Finnish person I’ve met has asked me this but I will over-analyze why in another blog post. For the second most-popular question, let me recap a convo with a co-worker:

Her: So what’s going on in America right now???
Me: Um, there was just an oil spill that totally sucks. They’re letting gay people get married in California now. And some idiot in my state is talking about burning Korans.
Her: Noooo, like, what’s popular with music?
Me: (blankly) Music?

How could I know what was popular with music in America? I spent the last month researching new songs for the Worst Music Party, finding forgotten gems like this and this. Stevie Wonder and Earth, Wind and Fire rule my world, not Lady Gaga or Katy Perry. I try to keep at least 100 yards away from anything with an auto-tune, including the ‘On a Boat’ spoof. The last two magazines I bought had Barry White and The Beatles on their covers respectively. The cd I’m listening to on repeat right now is D-Train’s Music (totally dope, btw). I might not be the best person to ask about the subject.

But instead of admitting any of that, I just mentioned Lady Gaga. That seemed to work. Besides, I'm starting to realize the Finns know more about American music than most actual Americans. At least, that's what I tell myself so I feel better about my small-minded music snobbery.

Kitchen Nightmares

Obstacle of the day: Working the oven in my apartment

Last night, I decided to heat up some leftover pizza for dinner, something that should really only take 15-minutes, max. Instead, it took this silly foreign girl an hour and half to work the damn oven. Why so long? Because of weird stove symbols, a major language barrier and my tendency to over-analyze everything, even the smallest, most mundane tasks.

The oven I’m familiar with has two knobs for cooking: one to control the temperature, and one with the words “bake” and “broil”. I turn the temperature dial to the usual 350 degrees Fahrenheit, set the other knob to “bake,“ add food and voila! A meal in no time.

So what threw me off last night? You might think it was the fact that the oven temperature knob was in Celsius. Not so! A handy Google search clued me in to set the oven to about 175. Piece of cake. No, the hard part was the other knob – the one with four unfamiliar icons instead of words. Since I had no clue what they represented, I looked for the instructions. They were located inside the oven, of course, because that’s totally where a 10-page printout should be. (Um, good thing I checked before turning it on! Oh wait, I couldn't turn it on.) And, this being Finland and all, they weren’t printed in English. Still, no problem - Google Translate could help me read the directions, which would help me decipher the hieroglyphics on my oven, right? Right. (Seriously, what did people do before Google? I am writing this in a Google Doc now!)

I set the translator from Finnish to English and began typing phrases like ‘undervarme tillkopplat.’ Nothing. I assumed it was because my spelling was incorrect so triple checked as I typed. Still nada. Then I guessed it was because my American laptop is not equipped with special characters like ö, ä and å, which were in every word. Of course. I resorted to staring at the words as hard as I could and willing them to mean something. Didn’t work. (Sadly, it never does.)

In a desperate measure, I started Googling the phrases that weren’t recognized by my trusty translator. The results included PDFs of oven manuals - no help, since they weren’t in English. But something caught my eye in the search results - the word Svenska. Swedish??? The whole time, I had been using the wrong language?!? Oy vey.

So finally I was able to figure out that undervärme tillkopplat meant “during heat coupled” and övervärme tillkopplat meant “of the heat coupled.” Uhhh.... I still had no freaking clue what any of that meant!!! So I did what I should have just done in the first place and chose one of the damn settings. The pizza came out fine.

If I only I could shut off the part of my brain that has to analyze every possible outcome of a situation before just taking action. Goodbye two hours of my life I’ll never get back!

Finally!

Success!!! Yep, I was finally able to beat Alko's stringent ways and bought some cheap vodka and Chilean red wine. Yay, me!

In other news, I am getting better at unlocking my door. Locking it from the inside, now that's a whole other story.

First Day at the Office!

Uhhhh.....


Feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment....

Grocery Shopping in a Faraway Land

On my third full day in Helsinki, the harsh reality set in that I can no longer afford to eat out every night. That means…. drumroll, please… a trip to the local grocery store, Alepa. Rather than overcomplicate things, I went with the college tactic of survival foods: simple items that are cheap, fast and versatile. Bread, cheese, butter, eggs, cereal, milk = eggs and toast for breakfast, grilled cheese for lunch and cereal for dinner. Maybe not the most nutritious, but it works for now.

The grocery store experience seemed so harmless at first, with the produce aisle luring me in. “Oh, hello, avocados! I know what you are! No problem, I got this,” I thought to myself as I confidently entered the store. (Dear silly American, note #212: You are supposed to weigh your produce and print out a UPC to take to the cashier.)

Things got a little more complicated in the cheese aisle – dozens of choices, at least twice as many as a the average American grocery store. No matter how long I stared, I couldn’t decipher between feta, gouda, havarti and the other bazillion options. Luckily I found a pack of slices – perfect for grilled cheese – conveniently labeled ‘cheddar.’ Done.

I sensed trouble when I hit the bread section. Not only do I panic about the high caloric content and ingredients in American bread (seriously, does everything have to contain high fructose corn syrup?) but now I didn't even know what kind of bread I was buying. At this point, unless I wanted to ask someone to for help – as an independent woman, that is definitely not one of my strong points – I was forced to become a slave to marketing tactics, and base my purchases solely on packaging. Are consumers really more likely to buy products based on colors, images and graphic design? In this case, yes. Yes I was.

I bought the bread I thought was whole wheat based on the light and dark brown color combos (vs. the blue on the other package – rye, perhaps?) and imagery of wheat fields on the side. The butter I chose had a green label and a heart logo, which my brain processed as “heart healthy.” I bought something in a blue carton I assumed to be milk, because it said 1% on the label. (If there was a fat-free variety, I couldn’t tell.)

Me = clueless.

The toilet paper with a cute li’l lamb on the side with a pink and green butterfly design won my approval, all because my stupid womanly hormones simultaneously kicked in and said “Awwwwwe!”

Now with more Soft & Caring!

And finally, the dumbest (but most delicious) decision I made was reverting back to my youth and buying cereal with the Nesquik bunny. There were all kinds of Müesli-esque options, but this was the least intimating, the most safe and definitely the least healthy option. It made me feel somehow connected to my American roots, which makes absolutely no sense considering I wouldn’t touch the stuff if I was living at home. Nothing but processed sugar and empty calories, yet it was the only thing I wanted.

Shrek is Finnish for "Annoying movie character." Also, what's up with the whole grain graphic and check mark on the top of the box??? 32% misleading marketing!

And finally, after being dissed several times by Alko, I bought Finland’s champagne of beers – Lapin Kulta. (No marketing tactics here – I bought crap beer because the price was right, college-style.)

Mmmmm.... beer.

All set for now! Looking forward to a week’s worth of eating budget-friendly junk – just like the old days.

I Ain't Afraid of No Locks + No Booze For You!

Sooooo not the keymaster.

As Americans, I have to say we excel at certain things. Take door locks, for instance. We’ve worked hard for our worldly possessions, and we're paranoid about other people taking them. Thus, our door locks are (generally speaking) secure and easy to use: insert key, turn, lock; insert key, turn, unlock. Easy, right?

My constant struggle since I have arrived in Helsinki? You guessed it, the lock on my apartment door. It seemed so effortless for Leena, my GROW host, to get into the apartment when we arrived, but for me it's pretty much impossible. Trying to get in: insert key, turn, nothing. Push on door while turning key, nothing. Use other key. (I have two, one is red, one is yellow. I’m pretty sure they’re exactly the same but it makes me feel less incompetent to switch them around.) Nope. Revert back to first key, push on door – really, really hard – while turning, balance on one leg while screaming, “I am the keymaster!” Success! … That is, until the door won’t close and we start all over again, this time with the neighbors watching me like I am a crazy person. This has already been fun after a night of drinking, and I am definitely looking forward to the keymaster game on my way to work!

Silly Americans, don't know how to unlock doors and stuff.

Another thing Americans do well is sell booze. Hard-working citizens run liquor stores, open seven days a week, that even have extended hours on the weekends! Plus convenient stores sell beer and wine until the wee hours of the morning, all so we can knock a few back after a hard work week. But since I’ve witnessed how fall-down-drunk the Finns can get on a Friday night, I guess it makes sense they need some boundaries; one of those being only one kind of store, appropriately named Alko, sells wine and liquor.

The sticker shock of bar drink prices – a minimum of 7 euros or $10 USD for a vodka and soda (and no heavy pours, mind you. Each shot is neatly measured out) – had me searching for my nearest Alko, located conveniently on the next block. But every time I've tried to go, they have been closed. Yesterday, after a full day of sightseeing, I wanted to grab a bottle of wine and got to the store around 8:15 PM. They closed at 8. On a Friday. Today I decided to stop in after walking around the city, thinking a bottle of Finlandia would be nice, and arrived around 6:05. They closed at 6. On a Saturday??? Seriously????

And Sundays? Closed. Of course.

Ok, how about during the week? Surely I can stop in for a bottle of wine on my way home from work? Closed at 6 PM. Hmmm... Leaving the office at 5ish plus a 40-minute commute is cutting it pretty close. How is a girl supposed to get some affordable alcohol around here?

Le sigh. I guess I'll have to settle for grocery store beer.